I need a little cheese to go with my whine.

Just got off my feet after an 8 hour shift. I spent my time busting up a fight, cleaning up spills, talking to a drunk and crying 22 year old girl, and trying to serve tables.

I work midnights at Denny's. Yes, it's true, drunks really do eat absorbent amounts of greasy food after the bars close. Nachos, burgers, french fries, chicken strips ( with gallons of ranch dressing) and can drink a lakes worth of ice water.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. I'm almost 50 years old, with asthma, arthritis and congestive heart disease. I'm still pretty quick on the floor, but I pay for it later. Yet I still love being around partiers. The bawdy jokes and loud voices just make me smile. The music over the P.A. is good new stuff, even though I never know the artists.

But, tonight was one of those rare nights of complete mayhem. Every regular we have came in drunk on their asses. I'm talking 30 to 40 year olds who forgot how to behave in public. Flashing the cars in the parking lot through the front window of the restaurant started the night off at 11:45 and the disorderly conduct was under full steam by 1:00. Then of course at 2:30 we got the immature drinkers, (the kind that throw up) falling through the door. Two girls made it to the bathroom in time, but one guy decided to defecate outside the front door. (GOD help me!) I had to go out and shame him into cleaning up his mess and leaving.

Then after everyone is fed and well hydrated, I get to clean up the mess and get the place ready for Sunday go to meeting folks. They come in at around 5:00 and sniff at the odors and the filthy floor. By now the other 2 servers and the manager have left. I about had it by then.

I do know one thing though, I would rather deal with an honest drunk, than a sanctimonious SOB that wants the world to kiss their feet just because they are going to leave them a 60 cent tip for a cup of coffee and a mound of pancakes.

That's it for me today, I feel so much better now.